duality.

...ever been so happy to realize that you've finally accomplished and have all that you could ask for only to have it all go to shit in the next breath? ...oh.

Well you haven't lived until the above has happened. In a matter of approximately 1month 19days, [who's counting] I've managed to forget the deadline for my future, be disappointed that my plan b failed, and irreparably sever one of the most meaningful relationships I've ever had. Ergo, I began to drown myself in self-pity and dark electronica music.

My worse nightmare has come to fruition. I'm stuck in a town where hope is a form of profanity and escape is a name for a loose whore. Woe is fucking me. I can feel my brain cells exploding and my soul decaying... sigh.

I don't know what's worse, realizing that all the planning I've done for the past 3 1/2 yrs has indeed been futile, or having to admit after all this time, that I have been wrong. I've been wrong about all of my perceptions of reality... and I don't know how to handle it.

Cheers to post-graduate existence and the melee that accompanies it.