La Ultima Carta.

The letter that will never be read, the connection that might never be repaired, the tears that will eventually cease. The ink will dry and the pages will yellow; time heals all wounds.

So I've decided what I wanna do for my 22nd birthday... Cali. I've never been west of Arkansas, and it would just be awesome. Like there's no other way to describe that shit. Here's a list of shit I wanna do.

1. Blow trees with Overdoz.

2. Get my nails done at KLEUR

3. Go to In N Out Burger

4. Walk down Rodeo

5. Go to a chill ass house party with random hipsters I met hours before. I'm talking bitches making out in a dry bath tub, green haze, indie music, whimsical outfits.... all'at

6. Rollerblade down a boardwalk in ass-shorts.

7. Go to a concert at the Roxy

...now to find a way to get there without having to resort to solicitation.

"If you let me go, then we both will know the truth is that you never were my friend."

deseos.

I've been eyeing Nikko Gray and the entire ▲❍▼❏ movement for about 3yrs... It's so positive, airy, and refreshing... and this is what I want from the collection.

...I mean, I'm no stickler for Valentine's Day, but it sure would be nice.

The rise and fall, the ebb and flow... I do believe the cycle is complete.

The day that I renounce all logic in favor of emotion is the day that I know that I have officially fucked up.

Today is that day.

I have indeed fucked up.

...I could insert a multitude of witty, sarcastic remarks ab emotion and it's irrelevance, but look where that's gotten me... Yep. *pulls covers over head*

I wish I had her wings...

I can't describe the urge that just came over me. Idk how long I can do this... I would have loved to have a moment like this... with you.

NEW MUSIC! *clap, clap clap, clap*

I couldn't resist the urge. lol. Yeh, but new shit from the likes of Iman Omari [recently discovered spawn of Overdoz], KIN, the jazzment, and Phony Ppl.

So, on the kick drum *come come* go support and download good music.

duality.

...ever been so happy to realize that you've finally accomplished and have all that you could ask for only to have it all go to shit in the next breath? ...oh.

Well you haven't lived until the above has happened. In a matter of approximately 1month 19days, [who's counting] I've managed to forget the deadline for my future, be disappointed that my plan b failed, and irreparably sever one of the most meaningful relationships I've ever had. Ergo, I began to drown myself in self-pity and dark electronica music.

My worse nightmare has come to fruition. I'm stuck in a town where hope is a form of profanity and escape is a name for a loose whore. Woe is fucking me. I can feel my brain cells exploding and my soul decaying... sigh.

I don't know what's worse, realizing that all the planning I've done for the past 3 1/2 yrs has indeed been futile, or having to admit after all this time, that I have been wrong. I've been wrong about all of my perceptions of reality... and I don't know how to handle it.

Cheers to post-graduate existence and the melee that accompanies it.

Just before our love got lost you said
"I am as constant as a northern star"
And I said "Constantly in the darkness
Where's that at?
If you want me I'll be in the bar"

On the back of a cartoon coaster
In the blue TV screen light
I drew a map of Canada
Oh Canada
With your face sketched on it twice
Oh you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet

Oh I could drink a case of you darling
Still I'd be on my feet
oh I would still be on my feet

Oh I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid

I remember that time you told me you said
"Love is touching souls"
Surely you touched mine
'Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time
Oh, you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet

Oh I could drink a case of you darling
And I would still be on my feet
I would still be on my feet

I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said
"Go to him, stay with him if you can
But be prepared to bleed"

Oh but you are in my blood
You're my holy wine
You're so bitter, bitter and so sweet

Oh, I could drink a case of you darling
Still I'd be on my feet
I would still be on my feet


© 1970; Joni Mitchell

I'm still trying to find my footing.

...and these are the mammaries that I aspire to have once I find a job and can afford a down payment. Oh yeh, go buy her album. Bwahaha