Last semester's attempt to study abroad was a emeffing fluke, but this year, I'm taking flight... literally. And as I get ready to embark on a journey that could quite possibly change my life, I realize that I'm surprisingly stoic ab everything... When I got accepted into the program I was excited, but then I realized, I had to start unravelling my rubber band ball of plans for the next six months. Instead of relishing the idea that I might be FINALLY be living my dream, I decided to accept possible failure, and to strategize for next semester. So often, as a matter of fact, too often, I second guess myself. Instead of living in the moment, I'm living in tomorrow... After the climax. While I haven't given the reality of what I'm ab to do much thought, I've def thought ab the moment I touch down in the US... after my trip is over. For some reason I can never get to that sense of accomplishment, I always dismiss it by finding something else to think ab, plan, and control. I have no earthly idea what lies ahead for me in the Dominican Republic, but I can be almost certain of what will be here when I return. I think that's what scares me the most... I hate not knowing. The gray area between knowledge and ignorance is more frightening than the dark... Spoken like a true control freak. Hopefully I find the peace within myself that will allow me to surrender to my surroundings and absorb all there is to learn. I need this experience to show me that there is more to life than I have been accepting... I need to see that there is so much more for me to experience than what lies in front of me. The philosopher in me yearns to find reason and purpose, hopefully I find both.
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