Monday, December 26, 2011

Is it merely coincidence that "problema" is feminine? ...oh. Patriarchal bastards inserting their misogyny into "romantic" language... you swift motherfuckers.

...I have no words right now.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

"I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious."
-Albert Einstein


...everybody needs something to bring them back down.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Sunday, December 18, 2011

I'm obsessed with bw sex photos, I know... but this one is deeper. I want this. Not the flaccidity pressed against my stomach, but the post-coital bliss. That feeling that comes from knowing you just satisfied the hell out of your partner. That knowing, that for that moment, if nothing else, the only person they desire is you... And I'm speaking from a yourefuckingsomeonewhosemorningbreathyoudontmind standpoint but,

Aside from the carnal pleasure, the after-sex convo is the best. Sharing dreams and sweaty air is just so... soothing. I mean, really... As an otherwise emotionless twit, I can pour my heart out after sex.

The only problem I have is after the sweat clears, the cover is thrown off the bed, and his arm unwrapped from my body, I realized that I am again left with only my thoughts to comfort me.

Saturday, December 17, 2011


...and sometimes, ⇡ happens.

Thursday, December 15, 2011


...I need these in my life. Would you like to gift them to me? Oh you would? *proceeds to knees...* freaks Prayer changes lives... and closets.
"I should have taken acid with you."
-Neon Indian

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

...just makes you wanna grab your Jamaican Black Castor Oil and massage your tortured edges huh? I see you, you snatch headed honey badger you.. Gon' and grease that scalp, I'm not judging.


YallknowIthinkmymusictasteisalittlemoreexpansivethantheaveragehooker, so I think it's time for more... get excited. So recently, I've been on this whole beach boys/acid/hippie/80's synth/chillout kick, and I've found some kick ass [did I just say kick ass?] bands and soliloquies that fall into such a category. If you have the time, diligence, and lack of a social life such as I, go look them up! N O T I C E, no links. This is just a *ahem* quickie until I get the energy to post links to some even cooler malarkey.

Triptides --think Beach Boys and hallucinogens. Go pop a pill and relax.

Mathemagic --more beachy shit, this time with angelic vocals.
How To Dress Well --Think Ricky Eat Acid but even darker.

Suck My Cockiness...

...lick the ashy web between my forefinger and thumb. No? Too soon? Too sensitive? Figures... I'm sure your hearts are warmed and your twats moistened by my return, but I assure you, I'm not as attractive as the above picture suggests.

It's been awhile, and to recant what I've done in the past 3mos, here goes another pointless list:
-G R A D U A T E D coo coo ka choo ooo.
-let go of the one person that probably could've anchored my life because it would've ended in countless tears and two heartbreaks
-realized that I fucked up the one thing I could've had from the jump


-became aware that not only am I fundamentally unprepared for the future, I have become a Grade A nutjob... and it feels effing amazing, so suck on that.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Evil begets evil.

September 10, 2011

To All:

I want to thank all of you for your efforts and dedication to Human Rights and Human Kindness, in the past year I have experienced such emotion, joy, sadness and never ending faith. It is because of all of you that I am alive today, as I look at my sister Martina I am marveled by the love she has for me and of course I worry about her and her health, but as she tells me she is the eldest and she will not back down from this fight to save my life and prove to the world that I am innocent of this terrible crime.

As I look at my mail from across the globe, from places I have never ever dreamed I would know about and people speaking languages and expressing cultures and religions I could only hope to one day see first hand. I am humbled by the emotion that fills my heart with overwhelming, overflowing Joy. I can’t even explain the insurgence of emotion I feel when I try to express the strength I draw from you all, it compounds my faith and it shows me yet again that this is not a case about the death penalty, this is not a case about Troy Davis, this is a case about Justice and the Human Spirit to see Justice prevail.

I cannot answer all of your letters but I do read them all, I cannot see you all but I can imagine your faces, I cannot hear you speak but your letters take me to the far reaches of the world, I cannot touch you physically but I feel your warmth everyday I exist.

So Thank you and remember I am in a place where execution can only destroy your physical form but because of my faith in God, my family and all of you I have been spiritually free for some time and no matter what happens in the days, weeks to come, this Movement to end the death penalty, to seek true justice, to expose a system that fails to protect the innocent must be accelerated. There are so many more Troy Davis’. This fight to end the death penalty is not won or lost through me but through our strength to move forward and save every innocent person in captivity around the globe. We need to dismantle this Unjust system city by city, state by state and country by country.

I can’t wait to Stand with you, no matter if that is in physical or spiritual form, I will one day be announcing,


Never Stop Fighting for Justice and We will Win!

-Troy Davis, murdered by the American justice system September 20, 2011; 11:08pm

Tuesday, September 20, 2011 hands trembled, breath quickened, heart palpitated, and yet I managed to press send.
What a tragic life I lead.

Sunday, September 18, 2011


...if only we all could just r e l e a s e.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Such meaning...

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Saturday, August 20, 2011

It doesn't matter who I lay with, or who's in my bed... I always wake up alone.
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Thursday, August 18, 2011

I always knew you'd come back, too bad I won't be there...

Thursday, August 11, 2011

"I always thought you were the gold tooth in a mouth full of decay..."
-Ms. Jay; ANTM

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Music Haul!

It's been awhile, but f i n a l l y I've got new music to post and talk ab...

-Jesse Boykins III: Once again, he used to be one of those artists I bypassed on the "similar to ______" links, and by doing this, I do believe I committed a mortal sin. Rich, seductive, acoustic music that makes you wanna... yeh. lol "Ways of a Wayfarer."

-Mara Hruby: A #sartorialsounds artist along with JEsse Boykins III (and a number of other people that I need to research). Barely there vocals and an almost jazzy undertone make for a smooth production... "From Her Eyes"

-Polyester: I first heard of this fellow when I started listening to LAUSD, and uhhhhhh yeh. The Cali, hipster swag strikes again. "Sumthin Ta Creez To"

-Ashton Travis: Heard him for the first time in a friend's car, and I usually hate artists who teeter the rapper/singer line, but I have to say, this young man does a damn good job with it. "Good Vibes."

-Tiron & Ayomari: I was sold after Ayomari's "PB&J Solution" and downloaded everything they had collectively and respectively... "En Kärlekshistoria" whatever the hell that means gives off the sweet, summery, young-love vibe.... Def good shit for a budding relationship.

Go to "Music" to find the links :)

Not the lyrics but...

....fuck our high expectations, our preconceived notions, and our impossible standards. Instead of risking disappointment, let's both be complimentary mythical creatures. We'll find solace in our flaws, and comfort in each other... let's play mermaids and dragons.

-Mara Hruby

Monday, August 8, 2011

...Until the hype dies.

Due to my computer being virtually incapacitated [pun intended] by the lack of space on my punk ass hard drive, I haven't been on my music "grind" like I usually am... There's a bunch of stuff that I'm anxious as hell to listen to, but here's a list of things I'm waiting 'til the last possible moment to hear:

-"From the Westside with Love II" x Dom Kennedy ----> despite my valiant efforts to hear it in it's entirety BY MYSELF, I've heard a couple tracks in the cars of inconsiderate whores that don't respect my wishes, but nonetheless, I wasn't impressed.

-"Watch the Throne" x Kanye West and Jay-Z ----> for lack of a better phrase, I simply don't give a fuck. Theoretically they're both great rappers, bu I think it'll only be more fodder for the cock-sucking masses. Sue me.

-"________" x J. Cole ----> I really think he's a conscious and intelligent artist, but I think commercialism is gonna weaken his aura.

-"Section 80" x Kendrick Lamar ----> I've heard this guys name being thrown around for the better part of two years, and yet, I can't bring myself to listen to him... Not saying he's not worthy or anything, it just never occurs to me to pursue his music. *shrugs*

-"Food & Liquor II" x Lupe Fiasco ----> given that it probably won't be released until Lupe locates his mind, which could be aeons from now, I still won't listen to it for a good minute based on the simple facts that I believe that in his curent state he is certifiably insane, and LASERS sucked hot sweaty cattle balls.

Ahhh I think that's enough for now
...yeh it should've been like that tonight.
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...speaking of being a black woman, I'm so tired of hearing ab the low percentage of married black women, and how the number of black men in prison, unreasonably high standards, and a disinterest in interracial dating correlates with it...

First they want us to get degrees and stop having welfare babies, now they want us to stop whatever we're doing, find the most available john and marry him.

Oh the hypocrisy of the times.
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I'm not sure when exactly this happened, but around the time I stopped combing perming my hair, I simultaneously became the poster-child for modern black supremacy... this is quite perplexing to me as I don't believe in or advocate in any kind of supremacy... but ANYWAY. After coming from an extended stay in a county with blatant colorism issues, I have taken it upon myself to look at more black blogs, news threads, etc...

However, this has done nothing but piss me off. Don't get me wrong, I recognize that there are issues within the black community, and that with every issue there is a cause, effect, yada yada yada... but after reading post after post ab black people problems, it seems the main problem is US!

We are the only race [used loosely] that needs validation for everything and the only one that has an official excuse for our short-comings [see slavery.] You never hear white people say "That [insert name of affluent african-american] has to be caucasian, I mean he [insert positive thing that makes the race as a whole look good]. !" You'll probably never hear an Asian say "Asians can't prosper because we were colonized by Europeans for _______ years!" But black people, politicans [both back porch and podium], bourgeoisie, and the "under-class," all pull these same cards everytime there's a damn argument.

Why can't we find another premise? Maybe I'm just too naive to see why a thing that ended 100+ years ago still hinders us... We hate white people because they were our masters, so is it fair to say that in modern times we should hate ourselves since now we're our own overseers?
majorly self-inflicted problems of our society? What's a "colored" girl to do?

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...while debating on whether to clean my room or not, I thought ab something, I haven't been happy in a loooooooong time. I don't mean temporarily chipper, in a good mood, everything's going my way today type shit... I mean, walking around smiling for no fucking reason, not looking around me and finding fault with everything, being perfectly content in still motion... Maybe my standards of happiness are too high and maybe I'm just a perpetually disgruntled witch...

...but nevertheless, this week I decide to be happy. I'm going to try to carry my (week long) Lent
self-enrichment thing of being positive for a whole week.

Don't get too excited because I'm still going to voice my negative thoughts, i'm just going to reinforce them with a positive one. In other words, this promise gives me a reason to be absolutely cruel with promise of an absolutely wonderful compliment/statement/ lie follow-up.

I'll document my progress.
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"In a town like this, hope'll kill ya."

-Fast Food Nation
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Monday, June 27, 2011

I'm a recovering nose-picking booger flicker.


I just saw myself in 10yrs... Big, curly hair... White button-up, charcoal pencil skirt... Walking on hardwood floors, putting money on the hall table for pizza... Sigh.
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Saturday, June 18, 2011

Weekend foolishness

Hey, i was just wondering how i could get zig zag's ( or any rolling papers ) ? ( i'm 14 )? i live in california and i'm getting some kush soon, but i don't have any rolling papers?? any suggestions?

Asked by Harrison Dunnett - 3 hours ago -

Resolved Question:

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Best Answer I'm 14 too and I just ask my black friend to get me some when he goes to the ghetto on the weekends or you could go to like a convince store at a gas station but just by a pipe it's beter!!!! Source(s): Smokin on that good

Answer by Ryan - 3 hours ago -Asker's Rating: yeeee! ryan thats wusup hahah theese faggots are hella funny " waste of your life " lmfao i'm not talking about tobacco you idiots!

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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

3am Ramblings

I never hated you, not even a little bit. Not for what you did, not for what you said, not even for what you chose to omit. I always hated that you were so predictable...

I knew that we were wrong, knew it would and could never work... To make it worse I always knew it was the last time, that there would be no happy ending, that the stars would never align for us..

What I hated the most was the fact that when all the cards were dealt, you failed to surprise me... you chose to follow suit.
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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Ok ok... let the comparisons begin. lol

Comment null and void due to my having to change the video :/
I haven't had one of these in so long, just looking at this picture is sending my saliva glands into a frenzy...

This summers TO-DO List
1. Get my splits back
2. Learn to play guitar
3. Find a summer-fling that will propose his temporary allegiance to me with a ring pop.


Hanging in Suspension

Before I start ranting again, I'd just like to say, I hate feet.

Anyway I just... happened to be doing some random shit in the middle of the floor and I thought, how long have I been holding this same position? Balancing on one foot, afraid to make my next step... How long have I been surviving in limbo not belonging to any particular school of thought? How long have I been wasting my time in a place that is neither here nor there? And finally, WHY have I stayed?! Why haven't I moved? One foot in front of the other seems so easy when you've got your momentum, but the moment you choose to stand still... all logic fails.

" driven to the point of emotional unavailability."

This couldn't be closer to my reality. Smh.

"Can't you see how my heart yearns to misbehave?"

So... I'm bored. And in the midst of all my boredom I began to think, and back track, and reflect, and analyze... and I thought ab the age old question "Why don't you have a boyfriend, girl?!" Instead of giving the usual, long-winded reply of "because I refuse to settle for something I really don't want, and def don't need for the sake of a title," I sat and thought ab the question. Yes, it's probably HIGHLY unusual that I've been in only one (side-eye) relationship and I'm damn near 21, but my standby question is No but really, I'm not one to share my demons with everyone that gives me a puzzled stare after I respond, but SHIT.

I admit, I'm afraid of commitment. And for me, that's fine. I don't think you should anchor yourself to anything in life but your family. Only one thing is constant in life, and that is change, so WHY in the hell would I try to begin something concrete and meaningful at such a transitory period?! It took me awhile to figure it out, but it just doesn't make sense! I think it goes back to the age-old mentality that "women of marrying age should be preparing to court, fuck, and live a long monotonous life of submission and service," and I refuse to feed into it.

On the other hand, don't you people in happy and healthy relationships have better things to do than ask me ab my love life? ...oh that's right, you don't, because you're b o r e d. Eventually that shit gets redundant! Right? I mean, it just has to! I'm a planner, over-thinker, and lover of all things structured, but my GOD! Something ab "rooting" myself and another person for a long period of time just turns me right the hell on off. I need adventure, danger, a different face!

Needless to say my views on relationships are a bit unconventional, and the next person that asks me that bum ass question is going to get an ear-full of slightly cynical realism.

Monday, May 9, 2011

I just think this picture is awesome because I almost got bit by a snake today... it was small, and black, and pretty uninteresting compared to these...

Ya he llegado.

...complete with obnoxious hair, a positive outlook, and a shitty temper.

Monday, April 25, 2011

"Well if Eve wouldn't have..."

...if Adam wouldn't have been so damn stupid, we would still be walking around in all of our naked glory. I ponder, is the quest for knowledge more sinful than placing blame? I digress...

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

“Influence is not influence, It’s simply someone’s idea going through my new mind ”- Basquiat.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

...I'm not crying anymore, but I'm damn glad I didn't hear this shit when I was. Onto a more serious note, something ab exaggerated colors, cartoonized locs and beads, and tears just eats away at my soul. The hell thought this was a good visual? So what if most people during this era wee doped up on whatever vice they had, nobody had good sense? Sigh...

[insert clever title that has a deep clandestine meaning]

Shots, punctures, penetration... things of which I have never been a fan, but somehow I'm in love with this needle,

and I'm a fiend for the liquid sin within it. Inject me with your daily dose of lust filled malice, riddle my blood with

forget me nots" so that my heart beats for you, and then fill my head with sugar laced lies so that my mind loathes

you... Inner conflict has become the norm, turning my once sacred temple into little more than a war ravaged shack.

Empty and dark, the soul of an addict, craving that which my stomach can not digest... A love I can neither fathom

nor ignore... An itch in the nether-regions of my heart that I.just.can.not.scratch. My neck cranes and my heart

yearns for your syringe, and as I reached for it, I saw my savior, my blessed assurance, the culmination of sheer

sincerity... A soul ascended from the bowels of simplicity, determined to save me, a poor love drunken harlot, and I

denied him. I refused his soft touch, denounced his desire to care, and laughed at his purity... Instead of the sweet

taste of love and infatuation I preferred the metallic codeine of deceit. I jerked my hand from his grasp and dropped

my gaze. As I reached for my needle, my salvation, he wept. From my lips escaped "just one more time," and I felt

my affliction taking over. I pressed the tip to my skin and exhaled, relinquishing my mind to the torments of this

drug one last time. Instead of the bliss filled reveries of before, I saw a single ball of light, a halo, an angel, my

angel... He looked broken, defeated, yet he smiled. Just knowing that I had found my solace, no matter how

detrimental it was, he smiled. My stoic face relaxed to form a smile and just as it did, the form changed. My mind

went black. One last time I saw the light, only this time something obscured the flame, it was burning something. I

stretched my arm to grasp it, the movement disturbing my trance... Upon opening my eyes, I saw the burnt spoon,

the syringe, and the liquid lust it once contained on the floor, and I thought, was it ever worth the prick?

 don't have to get it. Just a stream of consciousness type thing, better known as word vomit.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

"I call upon you to draw from the depths of your being — to prove that we are a human race, to prove that our love outweighs our need to hate, that our compassion is more compelling than our need to blame."
-Elizabeth Taylor RIP

Thursday, March 17, 2011


Corinne Bailey Rae is a wonderful example of a modern woman... Intelligent, talented, demure, sexy, and understated... A perfect example of femininity. What she represents is a class of women not obsessed with the norm, perfectly content with themselves. Whatever happened to satisfaction? She'd probably be the one I'd take home to my mom if indeed I was a man. lol

My New Obsession

I've gotten into the habit of scouring the internet for cool people whose lives I would love to emulate... Amelian Kashiro. She's a stylist, dates a chef, and has enormous hair, what else does she need? My personal definition of cool.

Want more? Here's her blog:
How it has become the norm for women to retaliate against other women because of their beauty is beyond me. Whatever happened to appreciation?

...with this song I realized how "undone and un-done" I was. Acceptance is beautiful, but I'm still not sure if it super-cedes curiosity.
I found this on Tumblr and decided I wanna recreate it...

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


...I've never been a die-hard Erykah fan, not for any particular reason, I just... wasn't. However, I'm pretty sure that these songs have converted me.

Sucking her left tit yet? Yehhhhh... me too.

Monday, March 7, 2011

This is the song from The Love Crusader's EP... I just got so overcome with emotion I cried when I found this song. It has such a message... Just... listen.

...oh yeh, in case you didn't know, THIS is music.

Time Flies.

Sometimes words means nothing... so don't worry ab what language it is, but embrace the sensation...

Only a month and a half left... deep breath.

The Love Crusader

"The Love No More" EP... genius. Even though it's just a little compilation by industry standards, I think the concept is bomb. The desensitization of humans in the world of technology + that ATL twang= orgasm. But if that didn't get your panties wet, dig into the rhythms, samples, and get your rocks off... My favorite is "Love No More" freestyle, that's real shit. And I HAVE to find that song! So if anyone finds it, PLEASE let me know what it is!


Señores destidos (lmao for making up a spanish word) themselves..
I've had this mixtape for a couple weeks now, and the shit is so catchy it should be sinful. I think my favorite so far is, "I don't wanna be your girlfriend, I just wanna keep your blunts rolled..." Although I never have and probably never will roll a blunt, this song rings all too effing true for me. Ademas... more proof that the West is coming back, with a vengeance.

i ain't eem bout

dat life.

I just be trying to sit

and lick my lollipops.


Kesh. I don't need to say more. My only question is why the hell I decided to go to college instead of becoming a vagrant makeup artist/photographer/singer/dancer/anarchist like I always wanted...
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