Such meaning...

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It doesn't matter who I lay with, or who's in my bed... I always wake up alone.

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I always knew you'd come back, too bad I won't be there...

"I always thought you were the gold tooth in a mouth full of decay..."

-Ms. Jay; ANTM

Music Haul!

It's been awhile, but f i n a l l y I've got new music to post and talk ab...

-Jesse Boykins III: Once again, he used to be one of those artists I bypassed on the "similar to ______" links, and by doing this, I do believe I committed a mortal sin. Rich, seductive, acoustic music that makes you wanna... yeh. lol "Ways of a Wayfarer."

-Mara Hruby: A #sartorialsounds artist along with JEsse Boykins III (and a number of other people that I need to research). Barely there vocals and an almost jazzy undertone make for a smooth production... "From Her Eyes"

-Polyester: I first heard of this fellow when I started listening to LAUSD, and uhhhhhh yeh. The Cali, hipster swag strikes again. "Sumthin Ta Creez To"

-Ashton Travis: Heard him for the first time in a friend's car, and I usually hate artists who teeter the rapper/singer line, but I have to say, this young man does a damn good job with it. "Good Vibes."

-Tiron & Ayomari: I was sold after Ayomari's "PB&J Solution" and downloaded everything they had collectively and respectively... "En Kärlekshistoria" whatever the hell that means gives off the sweet, summery, young-love vibe.... Def good shit for a budding relationship.

Go to "Music" to find the links :)

Not the lyrics but...

....fuck our high expectations, our preconceived notions, and our impossible standards. Instead of risking disappointment, let's both be complimentary mythical creatures. We'll find solace in our flaws, and comfort in each other... let's play mermaids and dragons.

“WE STRIVE TO BECOME WHAT WE NATURALLY ALREADY ARE. BECOMING IS JUST THE MOMENT OF REALIZATION”

-Mara Hruby

...Until the hype dies.

Due to my computer being virtually incapacitated [pun intended] by the lack of space on my punk ass hard drive, I haven't been on my music "grind" like I usually am... There's a bunch of stuff that I'm anxious as hell to listen to, but here's a list of things I'm waiting 'til the last possible moment to hear:

-"From the Westside with Love II" x Dom Kennedy ----> despite my valiant efforts to hear it in it's entirety BY MYSELF, I've heard a couple tracks in the cars of inconsiderate whores that don't respect my wishes, but nonetheless, I wasn't impressed.

-"Watch the Throne" x Kanye West and Jay-Z ----> for lack of a better phrase, I simply don't give a fuck. Theoretically they're both great rappers, bu I think it'll only be more fodder for the cock-sucking masses. Sue me.

-"________" x J. Cole ----> I really think he's a conscious and intelligent artist, but I think commercialism is gonna weaken his aura.

-"Section 80" x Kendrick Lamar ----> I've heard this guys name being thrown around for the better part of two years, and yet, I can't bring myself to listen to him... Not saying he's not worthy or anything, it just never occurs to me to pursue his music. *shrugs*

-"Food & Liquor II" x Lupe Fiasco ----> given that it probably won't be released until Lupe locates his mind, which could be aeons from now, I still won't listen to it for a good minute based on the simple facts that I believe that in his curent state he is certifiably insane, and LASERS sucked hot sweaty cattle balls.

Ahhh I think that's enough for now

...yeh it should've been like that tonight.

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...speaking of being a black woman, I'm so tired of hearing ab the low percentage of married black women, and how the number of black men in prison, unreasonably high standards, and a disinterest in interracial dating correlates with it...

First they want us to get degrees and stop having welfare babies, now they want us to stop whatever we're doing, find the most available john and marry him.

Oh the hypocrisy of the times.

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Pinned.

I'm not sure when exactly this happened, but around the time I stopped combing perming my hair, I simultaneously became the poster-child for modern black supremacy... this is quite perplexing to me as I don't believe in or advocate in any kind of supremacy... but ANYWAY. After coming from an extended stay in a county with blatant colorism issues, I have taken it upon myself to look at more black blogs, news threads, etc...

However, this has done nothing but piss me off. Don't get me wrong, I recognize that there are issues within the black community, and that with every issue there is a cause, effect, yada yada yada... but after reading post after post ab black people problems, it seems the main problem is US!

We are the only race [used loosely] that needs validation for everything and the only one that has an official excuse for our short-comings [see slavery.] You never hear white people say "That [insert name of affluent african-american] has to be caucasian, I mean he [insert positive thing that makes the race as a whole look good]. !" You'll probably never hear an Asian say "Asians can't prosper because we were colonized by Europeans for _______ years!" But black people, politicans [both back porch and podium], bourgeoisie, and the "under-class," all pull these same cards everytime there's a damn argument.

Why can't we find another premise? Maybe I'm just too naive to see why a thing that ended 100+ years ago still hinders us... We hate white people because they were our masters, so is it fair to say that in modern times we should hate ourselves since now we're our own overseers?

majorly self-inflicted problems of our society? What's a "colored" girl to do?

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...while debating on whether to clean my room or not, I thought ab something, I haven't been happy in a loooooooong time. I don't mean temporarily chipper, in a good mood, everything's going my way today type shit... I mean, walking around smiling for no fucking reason, not looking around me and finding fault with everything, being perfectly content in still motion... Maybe my standards of happiness are too high and maybe I'm just a perpetually disgruntled witch...

...but nevertheless, this week I decide to be happy. I'm going to try to carry my (week long) Lent

self-enrichment thing of being positive for a whole week.

Don't get too excited because I'm still going to voice my negative thoughts, i'm just going to reinforce them with a positive one. In other words, this promise gives me a reason to be absolutely cruel with promise of an absolutely wonderful compliment/statement/ lie follow-up.

I'll document my progress.

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"In a town like this, hope'll kill ya."

-Fast Food Nation

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